how to be with the shame of realizing our worthiness wound

how to be with the shame of realizing our worthiness wound

I’ve been talking a lot about the worthiness wound lately and while I have received so much positive feedback from women resonating with this information, I have also heard some quiet whisperings from women who feel a tremendous amount of guilt and shame for both having the worthiness wound and for recognizing the damage the unchecked worthiness wound has done in their lives. In some cases there is also an additional hint of embarrassment, a fear of what their friends and family will think of them if they find out they’ve been reading about the worthiness wound.

how to feel more worthy of money

how to feel more worthy of money

One of the biggest desires my clients come to me with is the desire to change their relationship with money. They feel like they don’t trust themselves around money. They feel unable to save money or bring more money in. They feel unworthy to spend money on themselves or on something they really wa

urgent reasons for addressing the worthiness wound

urgent reasons for addressing the worthiness wound

The worthiness wound, a belief at the core of our being that we do not belong and that we are inadequate and broken, often leaves an intense scar of unresolved pain in our psyche and in our bodies. This pain can be debilitating, and if gone unaddressed can affect various areas of our lives and cause harm to ourselves and those around us.

the worthiness wound and healing the little girl within

the worthiness wound and healing the little girl within

When I started the journey of doing inner work over ten years ago, I discovered the brilliance of cultivating a relationship with my inner little girl. Since then I have seen such a clear connection between knowing her and healing the worthiness wound.

navigating feelings of unworthiness as an empath

navigating feelings of unworthiness as an empath

And being overwhelmed with emotions, particularly around beliefs that we sense are outdated, is to put plainly, exhausting. While the appearance of such beliefs are of no surprise {as you pursue the path of growth, all sorts of internalized beliefs that teach you to play safe get activated}, it’s the emotions that accompany the beliefs can seem the most debilitating, especially as empaths... often leading us to emotionally shut down, become extremely reactive and erratic, hurt others, and hurt ourselves. Here's what we can do about it.

the three lies we are told about overcoming unworthiness

the three lies we are told about overcoming unworthiness

I used to think that worthiness was something people just “got” at some point in their lives. You know, once one makes the million billion dollars and crosses off the important things from one’s bucket list. Then, almost miraculously, one will feel worthy and live happily ever after. Turns out, that wasn't the case.

the myth of the ideal woman and the worthiness wound

the myth of the ideal woman and the worthiness wound

The energy around this time of year is almost palpable; it screams of exciting new goals, renewed hope, and big visions.

But this energy also comes with a darker side.

Few of us are immune to the pressures of the “new year new you” promise, a tantalizing offer from our culture that this year could be the year that you FINALLY become who you’ve always wanted to be. And when you do, you will be able to breathe and feel happy and fulfilled.

But beneath the flash and glitter is the real message.

how to start speaking up

how to start speaking up

I remember like it was just yesterday, being 12 years old, walking home from the bus stop, trying to nonchalantly power walk my way down the street while my three neighbors meandered behind me loudly making fun of what I was wearing and who I was.

I would burst through the door to my house with tears streaming down my face, heart wrenched with shame.

In all those years though, I never spoke up. I never stood up for myself. I just let them bully me, slap me, tease me, and embarrass me in front of friends, adults, strangers.

how to navigate the fear of being vulnerable

how to navigate the fear of being vulnerable

It is undeniable - vulnerability goes hand in hand with being seen.

The vulnerability of telling someone you care deeply for them, opening your big feelings to a stranger, asking for a raise, writing a book, launching a program… it often comes with an overwhelming desire to stop, to close your mouth, to wait a month, or two or three, to never do it again, to go numb, to shut down.

The weight that being vulnerable has can be crushing.

why the hustle is overrated

why the hustle is overrated

Lately I have been playing with navigating the spaces of non-doing. Not hustling. Not goal-setting or goal-doing. Not pushing or forcing, just… flowing.

It's unfamiliar territory. Here's what I am discovering.

showing up consistently doesn't work, here's what does

showing up consistently doesn't work, here's what does

The other week I shared a post on Facebook about showing up consistently. Today, I want to dive more into this concept of what it means to really show up and own your spotlight.

So here is the post that I shared: “I see a lot of self-judgment from women for not being able to "show up consistently" every single day.

the life changing path to internal freedom

the life changing path to internal freedom

A little while ago, I stumbled upon an old journal from high school, and as I flipped through the pages, I found a list I had created titled “5 things I need to change in order for people to like me.” The list included: put more effort into my appearance, appear less passionate and emotional, care less about people’s opinions {oh the irony}, no lunches in the library {said by a true introvert} and item #1: be more reserved.

what most of our success really comes down to

what most of our success really comes down to

Greetings! I shared this uncomfortable truth on Facebook last week and felt called to share it again, here, in case it may support you on your journey:

Two years ago almost today, I quit my job, drove across the country, moved in with my partner, and went full-time into my business after four years of dancing with the idea.

the problem with positive thinking

the problem with positive thinking

We live in a world where the self-development industry is obsessed with positive thinking. But what if positive thinking was actually the problem, and not the solution?

first step in addressing your unworthiness

first step in addressing your unworthiness

In those moments when the judging thoughts feel the loudest, judging others for their behavior but also judging ourselves for ours, it's easy to collapse into a heap of shame and the sense that we are deeply broken.

In the following video, I want to share a critical tool we can begin to incorporate during those tricky, triggered moments to give us a bit of a lifeline. A little ease and space to center ourselves and recalibrate.

the bullshit of money mindset

the bullshit of money mindset

In this post, I want to highlight the insidious beliefs espoused by the coaching industry around the money mindset, making six figures, and the law of attraction.

the three masks that stem from unworthiness

the three masks that stem from unworthiness

I have been sitting lately with the concept of sovereignty and what it means to feel free and autonomous in our lives, our decisions, and thoughts. 

In the video here I share some key concepts on worthiness as it ties to the lower self, the higher self, and the three masks we tend to wear.

feeling manipulated? this one is for you

feeling manipulated? this one is for you

Today, I want to share a story with you on how I was manipulated. It was devastating, gut wrenching and one of the most painful experiences of my life... and it absolutely revolutionized my understanding of worthiness.
 

why women feel unworthy

why women feel unworthy

Two weeks I shared a new concept with you all that I am calling The Worthiness Wound. 

And then I disappeared into a hole of research, analysis and model creation.

I want to share the updates with you, including my conclusions around why women feel unworthy, why other forms of healing won't work around the worthiness wound and why worthiness will never be fully "healed."

deconstructing the worthiness wound and reasons for women's unworthiness

deconstructing the worthiness wound and reasons for women's unworthiness

The deeper I go into my studies of neurology, cognitive psychology, and trauma work, the more I recognize a certain set of common denominators within almost every single woman I coach or teach.

For now, I am calling this trend the worthiness wound. You can also think of it as the {dark} arts of personal objectification. And it lies at the core of every women’s psyche.