the meaning of true healing and three steps to guide the journey
I want to dive into the topic of healing today, and specifically around emotional healing.
During a time of great discourse in our country and in the world, it’s important we recognize and learn how to navigate the inner stuff that may be coming up in order to take greater, more impactful action.
Some signs that you have an emotional wound includes self-hate and self-loathing, never feeling good enough in your body, relationships or elsewhere, anxiety, depression, erratic behavior, and self-sabotage.
What I have seen is that the majority of us carry places within us where we were deeply wounded, most of which stem from childhood. Places within us where we had needs that were unmet due to our surrounding’s inability to offer us the unconditional love we craved.
It doesn't have to be some extreme case of abuse for it to have deeply impacted our psyche and ability to navigate the world as an adult. Family dynamics, societal expectations, economic experiences all shaped our emotional landscape from a very early age.
Let me be clear though: It is not the fault of our caregivers for not giving us what we needed, and having an emotional wound is now not our fault.
Because we were not equipped to handle the perplexing and often confusing experiences as children, these wounds manifest into adulthood as defenses, patterning and triggers. In a way, these manifestations keep us safe and protected, in other words, they numb us from the organic experiences of life.
Since we have over the years found ways to totally numb to our deep pain, we unconscious invite in the same shit over and over and over again somehow believing that this time we are going to get what we want. And when we don’t, we wonder how we got in this mess in the first place.
The worst part is that this numbness cuts us off from the natural expression of our spontaneous, joyful, loving, compassionate inner self. Repressing our wound stifles our ability to express ourselves and fully “be” ourselves.
We are now living our lives with a major piece of ourselves missing. It’s no wonder we are in a constant state of suffering.
So what does the path of healing all of this looks like?
This is the work I do with my clients.
It’s the path of rediscovering the assumptions, stories and beliefs we developed about ourselves and the world by gently revisiting and pulling back the layers of the wound and cultivating a safe space of self-acceptance as you do so.
It’s key to note that we cannot heal our wounds by fighting our inner naysayers or pretending it doesn’t exist. It clearly hasn’t worked out so far and it won’t work in the future, either. It’s about integration. About recognizing that our inner mean girl plays an important part in your life and is in deep pain.
The true meaning of ‘healing” is to do the work of becoming whole. It’s the only way to find the strength to do the uncomfortable, bold, authentic things you want to do. Here are some steps to support you on this journey:
STEPS TO INTEGRATE DEEPER HEALING INTO YOUR LIFE
1. Trust your emotions
We must start the healing journey by recalibrating our relationship with our emotions. There is a reason for everything that we feel. Every emotion is connected to a deeper truth, mostly on an unconscious level. Our homework is to find out what that is and we can begin by trusting what comes up as it comes up. You can even say to yourself, "I don't know why I feel the way I do but I choose to trust myself in this moment."
The more we can begin to trust our reactions and infuse more self-acceptance into our being, the easier it is to go into the next step.
2. Get really curious
It's natural for us to jump to conclusions about why we do certain things or why we feel a certain way. Our brain is lazy and has formed neuro pathways so that we don't have to understand, we just do. However, the path of healing requires us to re-examine these neuro pathways and ask ourselves the harder questions. Why may I be feeling this way? Can I give myself space to just be with this? When is the first time I recall feeling this way? What may be underneath this emotion? And underneath that one? These are some questions we can begin to ask ourselves that not only signal that we trust how we are feeling but that we are willing to look at it, understand it, and shift it.
3. Daily review
A tool I highly recommend to start implementing is a daily review where you spend a few minutes every evening journaling and reviewing your day. Write out the reactions you had throughout your day. Write what was coming up within you. Write what happened. You'll start to notice a pattern after doing this for several weeks. It is these patterns that are keeping you most stuck. By identifying and taking great responsibility for what is coming up, you have a greater opportunity to change it. And that is everything.
Healing is your birthright. This is the path of true freedom. Of connecting with your intuitive knowing. Of embracing your mess. Of honoring this human experience. Let us begin.
PS. I have currently launched a new offering, an opportunity to book an individual 1hr session with me for $108 {includes a 15 min follow up call}. I have called these The Dark Room Sessions and it's an opportunity for you to begin to journey of healing by giving you space for your unresolved hurts and fears and confusing emotions to dance into freedom and understanding. This is the time to air out your grievances so they can finally start to release their hold on your heart.
If you feel curious to learn more you can do so by clicking here.
