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The worthiness wound, a belief at the core of our being that we do not belong and that we are inadequate and broken, often leaves an intense scar of unresolved pain in our psyche and in our bodies. This pain can be debilitating, and if gone unaddressed can affect various areas of our lives and cause harm to ourselves and those around us.

Because the worthiness wound was caused at a very early age and solidified through childhood experiences, it’s often embedded deep within us, so much so that we often think that this is just a part of who we are, this is normal. But in fact, while it may have become normalized by a culture that benefits from our unworthiness, it is far from normal. And if we do not heal the worthiness wound, we diminish our capacity to truly thrive.

1. Carrying the worthiness wound is exhausting

When we feel broken and inadequate, we utilize a tremendous amount of energy, either collapsing in our wound, or contorting ourselves to not experience the wound. Both drain us and keep us in the spiral of feeling like we have to prove ourselves to the world or the spiral of falling into victim mentality. Many clients come to me feeling like their whole lives was one big fight. They did everything to prove to themselves and the world that they belong. Imagine what would be possible for you if you didn't feel you had to compensate for your unworthiness and simply felt worthy?

The painful part is that we find ourselves pouring time and energy into making something of ourselves and once we get There, we feel oddly dissatisfied.

When the worthiness wound is running the show, it’s difficult to feel successful and accomplished. While the pesky voice within is calling us a fraud or worse yet, like none of this matters, any long term satisfaction feels impossible. So it keeps us chasing, hustling, running, hoping the next achievement, the next landmark, will offer us respite. But it won't. It can't. Not while the worthiness wound is running the show.

I like to think of unaddressed worthiness wound as a leaky faucet, draining us of energy and vitality. When we lose our power, we lose our capacity to truly make a difference.

2. No other inner work will create lasting changes

I spent years and poured thousands of dollars doing all sorts of inner work from energy clearing to mindset. I bought countless books, courses and programs. But none permanently redefined my relationship with myself. Because until you get to the root cause of the problem, all you're doing is cutting the weed. Inevitably, the problems will rise up again the minute you forget to take your "hit" of inspiration.

I realized I was doing superficial level work because I was perceiving my issues as superficial. Once I stopped spiritually bypassing and started addressing the underlying patterns that I developed at an early age, true transformation started taking place. 

It is clear to me now that my issues weren't superficial, they weren't just going to go away, and no amount of mindset would shift it. Instead, they were deeply rooted in pain and beliefs about myself and life and everything I wanted would be found there. By shedding light to my wounded spaces, I found a wisdom and strength that catalyzed me in to the greatest version of myself. It's difficult to put in words. But what I do know is that this shift is available to all of us.

3. Did I mention it's exhausting? Not tending to our core wounding diminishes our capacity in so many ways...

  • Keeps us in a spiral of comparing ourselves to others
  • Places other people's inputs of our lives on a higher pedestal than our own desires
  • Prevents us from experiencing intimacy
  • Forces us to wear a mask to hide our true self, masks of people pleasing, of fake confidence, of aloofness, while inside we long to be our most expressed self
  • Keeps us from making more money, taking up space, being visible, and asking for what we want
  • Closes off our ability to be joyful, spontaneous, and fulfilled {our need to control and perfection blocks off our ability to flow with life}

When you address the worthiness wound, you unlock a deep knowing that you are lovable, safe, worthy. Life takes on a different hue, one where you feel different instead of should-ing yourself to be different. One where you trust in yourself and in life. Things that once felt overwhelming now feels exciting and filled with ease. And mostly, you just feel like you. The you that you crave to be.

As Rumi writes, the crack is where the light comes in. The pain of our unworthiness is not a curse but rather a gift, an opportunity, to explore the truth of who we are and expand into our sovereignty. Healing this wound allows us to access the portal of potential within each of us. This is our birthright.

To your worth,

 

PS. My signature program, Worthy Women Rise is a four month quest on reclaiming your worth, embodying your truth, and rising into your most expressed self. This is your invitation to do the deeper inner work of healing your worthiness wound so you may take up greater space in the world. I believe in your visibility. Learn more and get on the waitlist here.