Lately I have been playing with navigating the spaces of non-doing. Not hustling. Not goal-setting or goal-doing. Not pushing or forcing, just… flowing.
It's unfamiliar territory for an ambitious woman like me who has controlled much of her life. Well, it's an unfamiliar territory as a woman, period. With so many expectations placed on us to "have it all" and do it while making it look easy, it feels like a rebellious act to say yes to something else.
This is even a bigger act of rebellion when you take into consideration that we live in a society that sells the idea that if you're not growing and expanding and hustling and doing everything in your power to achieve something... then you are leaving money on the table... you are dying... you are settling.. you are playing small... you are a waste of life. Just look at how we treat the elderly for a taste of our fear of not being “productive.”
So what if the majority of us are seeking greatness not for the sake of the impact we could make but because we are running away from mediocrity and ultimately death?
bell hooks once wrote, “I will not have my life narrowed down.” And that sticks with me. The ways in which we narrow ourselves down to tasks, and lists, and goals. The ways in which our obsession with a vision prevents us from cultivating the emotional maturity of handling the difficulties of the now. The ways in which we rob ourselves of joy by defining our worth by our perfect work.
I've had so many clients come to me feeling like they have achieved everything they’ve desired… and yet are feeling rather numb to it all.
When we explore this deeper, a pattern emerges where they seek greatness to prove they are not mediocre.
"You'll see, I will prove you wrong” is the phrase underlying so many of our actions, our behavior, our thoughts. I know how true this is for me on so many levels.
And what I am finding is that in the hunt to make ourselves mean something, we lose the essence of who we are. We ignore the ache in our bones for the cultural lie that something out There will define our existence.
That's the irony isn't it... as we try so desperately to chase some illusion of a spotlight, and prove that we deserve it, we actually lose owning our spotlight.
What I truly hunger is my own pace. My own story. My own unfoldment. What I hunger is being able to close my eyes and feel the strength of just being here. In my breath. In my own witnessing. In my own spotlight.
And right now, it feels like the more I step into this energy of less, the more I can feel this immense spaciousness of being in the flow. And this really sweet sense of gentle self-acceptance.
The conversation I am inviting is not new. There are so many studies showing the ways in which we lose ourselves by trying to maintain the speed of our lives.
And to drive the point home, I would invite you to see where you may chasing big dreams not just because of its inherent grandness and excitement… but to run away from the truth of your power - that your worth is already here.
To your worth,