Exploring your desires can feel… complicated. Often times, we don’t even know what we want. Or we do know… until we get it and we realize that’s not it at all. And then we get upset for wasting our time and decide to just give it up... hoping things will simply come together. But then we feel miserable because life is not changing the way we want it.
Needless to say, things can get a little confusing when we talk desires. No wonder so many religions ban desires altogether.
But I want to clear something up.
Because most of the initial work I do with my clients is on the topic of desires. There are a lot of stories about it that keep us feeling stuck, unclear and frustrated with our lives.
And here’s one of the biggest mistakes we make when we start exploring our desires: we put a lot of freakin’ pressure on how it’s supposed to look.
When I went to college I decided to get my degree in business management, specifically finance.
Then I decided to take my LSAT and go to law school.
Then I changed my mind and went into the workforce, only to quickly realize I wasn’t meant to be an employee. And I should probably find a way to go more into coaching/teaching.
But it took another 4 years of switching around, thinking I wanted to do this, and then being pulled there, and then thinking I wanted to do that, and then getting all switched around... to finally land here.
But here… who knows where “here” will take me. I really like it here. But what surprises and shifts may I experience in the future? No idea.
Does that mean I shouldn’t have desires? Does that mean wanting to go to law school was “bad”? Does that mean I wasted my life during those four years of denying my gifts as a coach + spiritual teacher?
Looking back, it was my adamant stance that I had to do the whole desires thing “perfectly” that ultimately hurt me. The expectation that it had to look a certain way denied a lot of joy that unfolded in my journey. And when my desires changed, I blamed myself because I felt like I should have known better.
Do you see how that belief, that type of hardness, doesn’t help? Placing such rigidity on my wants and why I wanted it and what I should do with it and how I should act it out in my life created a lot of shame and anger.
Because as much as we like playing God in our lives, control is just an illusion.
It’s the tightness around our desires that causes suffering, not the desire itself. In fact, when we go on the path of our desires, we activate the healing of the soul. Desires = magic. Desires = divinity. Desires = transformation.
AND it’s not attaining the desires that matter inasmuch as the journey that it takes us on. When we say yes to what we want, we invite circumstance and people that help awaken us and activate us. It's the power of the heroine's journey.
If I didn’t make the decisions I made in the past, I wouldn’t be where I am. And I am pretty proud of where I am, ya know?
But if I released the burden I myself placed on my shoulders about what it's supposed to look like, I probably would have had a lot more fun through it all.
So, my love, do not deny yourself the pleasure of going after what you want.
And then changing your mind.
And then trying it differently.
And then messing it all up because you have no idea what you’re doing.
That’s the whole point. It’s an experience.
Don’t know what you want? Awesome, explore how you want to feel every day and do what makes you feel that.
Realized you don’t like what you thought you originally wanted? Great, give yourself a pack on the back for at least trying, cause most people don’t even do that.
Decide that you want something even more? Fabulous, take a breath, enjoy this scenery, and then start taking action forward.
And whatever you do, trust your deepest wants. It's your soul calling you back home.
To your worth,