thais sky on meditation

"Our expectation of ourselves is killing us more than not meditating."

These are the words that came out of my mouth during a session with a client last week.

I know in the spiritual community there is a lot of emphasis on meditation, as there should be. Meditation is a great tool to cultivate self-awareness and mindfulness.

The problem is when we feel this Egoic pressure to meditate... that if we don't we are not spiritual enough. It never ceases to amaze me the lengths our Ego will go to protect our identity. If you identify yourself as "spiritual" then odds are your Ego is going to should you ceaselessly to be more mindful, to have some elaborate morning ritual, to let it go, etc etc.

That's just how the mind works.

So now not only are you NOT mindful {because let’s be real here when do we ever do what we should do} but we also feel like shit for it.

Cause that’s spiritual.

I remember when I quit my job and had space in my calendar I decided that I was going to wake up at 5am, do an hour of meditation followed by an hour of yoga followed by an hour of journaling, reading and EFT. So I would crawl out of bed to my meditation cushion, only to find myself back in bed a few hours later... turns out I had fallen asleep at my cushion and my boyfriend brought me back to bed.

But I HAD to wake up early!! That's what spiritual people do!! So I would be miserable the entire day because I was tired AND I let myself down. The minute I surrendered that shit and decided to just do me is the minute I found a deeper connection with my practice and my meditation cushion.

As Thich Naht Hath so eloquently said, “If you feel you should meditate, you shouldn’t.” AKA when you feel ready to meditate, you simply will.

There’s immense freedom that comes from meeting yourself where you’re at. If you don’t feel called to do it, then DON’T. Find what you are called to do and invite ease into that. And if you feel called to meditate randomly, then allow that to be the flow of your life.

This is your invitation to recognize the work of the Ego and tell it kindly that she can go on vacation. You can handle this from now on.

Punishing yourself for not being "spiritual enough" is not the answer. And believe it or not, it’s not going to create the results that you would expect.

Practice kindness to your limitations instead. You'll be amazed at how much more healing that is than any meditation practice.