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I have found that there is nothing that challenges your beliefs around being seen more than launching a program into the world.

What if no one buys? What will that mean about me?

This is quite a space to navigate; on the one hand we have a deep passion to bring our work out in the world, and on another we take on tremendous risk when we put our thoughts and opinions out “there.”

It is undeniable - vulnerability goes hand in hand with being seen.

The vulnerability of telling someone you care deeply for them, opening your big feelings to a stranger, asking for a raise, writing a book, launching a program… it often comes with an overwhelming desire to stop, to close your mouth, to wait a month, or two or three, to never do it again, to go numb, to shut down.

The weight that being vulnerable has can be crushing. Why is that?

It makes sense, then, for why the fear of that vulnerability alone is enough to keep us closed off from our desires, our goals, our dreams, and our bold asks. We bear the burden of the invisibility cloak {and denying our self-expression} because at least this burden is comfortable. At least it’s familiar. At least it’s keeping us safe.

We hold off on creating a business, on being political, on rallying a community, on selling our paintings, on writing our truths, on being on stage, on advocating for ourselves… until we feel strong enough, confident enough, wise enough… someday.

And yet, when will that someday be today?

This tension is not just yours. It’s all of ours. It’s a human condition, navigating the call to boldly go forth, while also hearing our reptilian brain scream in fear. We literally are conspiring against ourselves here peoples, this shit is no joke.

And. If we are to truly own our spotlight, to be the creatives and artists and entrepreneurs and fully embodied beings, we cannot stand by and allow our primitive brain to dictate our worth.

But here’s the thing - we live in a society that benefits from the invisibility of women, that objectifies our body’s and promises us “everything” if and only if we fit a narrow narrative of success. As we spend our precious time and energy and brain capacity in the spiral of perfectionism, body/beauty obsession, and chasing ambitions through masculine means, we are distracted from our real power.

We end up feeling worthless. And without our power source, how are we to be the radiant lights that changes the world?

We don’t. We can’t.

It is no wonder we stay quiet. And small. And complicit. Waiting for the white knight who will never come.

It cannot be more clearer that we must develop different internal resources if we truly want to take up space in the world. We must go into the depths of our beings and restructure our relationship with intuition, wounds, emotions, and our psychology so we can truly know ourselves.

Because when we know ourselves and see ourselves fully, we inevitably cultivate resilience.

Resilience to develop boundaries on whose opinion we invite into our lives. Resilience to continue to pour our mastery into our work even when the results aren’t there. Resilience to challenge the status quo and do things in a way that is in alignment with our best selves.

And in this resilience comes the delicious ability to navigate the vulnerability with grace without compromising our well being, our integrity, and our truths.

We can open ourselves and expose our hearts and be seen without fear of annihilation because we know who we are cannot be annihilated. This freedom is everything, and it’s accessible within all of us.

This freedom excites me. The possibility of real change excites me. The fact that our past does not have to be our future excites me.

There is real potential here, embedded in these truths. Do you hear it? It’s the invitation that we do not have to be paralyzed by our ancient biologies any more. That we can develop a new relationship with vulnerability. That, as women, taking up space means getting closer to our truths rather than further from them.

As you sit with this invitation, I would love for you to close your eyes and look into the things you do on a daily basis that is enabling your hiding. What activities may feel important but are actually keeping you safe? Where are you avoiding the risk? What may you be able to strip away in your life to give you space to dig deeper into work that is meaningful? That is where we can start.

To your worth,

 

PS. During my Own Your Spotlight Group program, I will be offering weekly support and tools to cultivate this deeper knowing of who you are. Because I so deeply believe in your work, and the power it has to change the world. Join me? Doors close soon.