I recently had a conversation with a dear friend on how to get out of feeling angry and upset and go back to feeling peaceful and happy on a regular basis. Her question was how do I get there as FAST AS POSSIBLE. And I had to laugh because, well, that is THE question isn't it? That is the essential question of all religions and spiritual beliefs - how do I gain inner peace as quickly as possible when I am in the midst of crap?
How do I react LESS and find more space in my heart for whatever is coming up?
How do I own my POWER when I am feeling totally stuck and powerless?
Before we go on, I first want to explain what is REALLY going on when we are feeling powerless. When we feel totally stuck, totally victim, and totally disempowered, we are essentially saying that we have no control of life.
If we felt in control, we wouldn't feel powerless. So by feeling powerless, we have relinquished all control over the situation
But we do have control. We ALWAYS have control on how we perceive life.
The basis of power is understanding that at any given moment, we can choose to see love, or see fear in the circumstance in front of us. We can believe that life is against us or for us. We can feel weighed down by circumstance or lightened by it.
Notice, I did not say that circumstance has to change in order for you to feel light about it, rather, you simply have to change your perspective on it. The best part is that you don't even have to know HOW. You don't have to know all the answers. You just have to believe that this is true.
So now that we know that feeling inner peace and joy is available to you at any moment, it's time to choose it.
And the first and most important step of all, is willingness. We have to be WILLING to see something differently. We have to be WILLING to admit that there might be a different way of looking at this. We have to be WILLING to feel differently.
Often, just by the very desire of being willing, we feel a shift in perspective, a miracle.
So next time you are angry, upset, furious, justified, etc etc, say to yourself, "I am currently choosing to lose my power. I have total control here. And I am willing to see this differently." AND BREATHE. Pause. Stop the reactive cycle and just be with whatever is coming up for you. Slow down. Keep repeating the mantra, "I am willing to see this differently." Feel what you are meant to feel. Allow it to move through you. Breathe more. And keep repeating that mantra.
When we react in fear, we perpetuate the fear. PAUSE instead, give space to the situation, and respond ONLY when you start feeling clearer.
Now, as a meditation teacher I have to add a caveat here that the more you commit to a sitting meditation practice, the easier this whole process will be for you because meditation helps us cultivate space in our minds for something different. Without a foundation of meditation, it's going to be very challenging for you to shift your energy from fear and hatred to love. Not impossible. But challenging. So if you really want to do your life a favor, commit to a daily practice. Enjoy the nourishing you are giving your soul. And realize that every minute you sit on your cushion, you are adding joy and power into your life.
You will be amazed at how quickly the power flows back to you when you realize how powerful you truly are.
To your worth,