Let's talk about taking big leaps today. Maybe you are thinking about leaping from job to full time entrepreneurship. Maybe you are thinking about leaping from one job to another. Maybe you are thinking of leaping from one relationship to another. Maybe you’re thinking about investing in something you’ve never invested in before.
All of these transitions have the same fundamental elements - a huge desire for greatness but a dark fear of reality.
You really WANT this new career choice or a fulfilling relationship or to go to a country you’ve never gone before.
But, what if everything falls around you? What if you don’t succeed? What if you regret this decision? What if it doesn’t work out? What if you go bankrupt?
I get it.
Three years ago I took a leap from a comfortable relationship with a man who offered me what I wanted… to a relationship with a man who was moving to California two months later.
A year and a half ago, when I should have been saving all my money in preparation for my move, I invested in a $25k year-long coaching program.
Almost one year ago I quit my cushy corporate job to go into entrepreneurship full time while simultaneously moving to California to be with my partner.
So yes, I really do get it. I get the fears, I get the insecurities, I get the endless doubt.
I would like to offer you my five thoughts to help you know when to take the leap and how to navigate transition. Take this as the five things I wish someone had told me before I made the decisions I did:
1) It’s never as bad as you think it’s going to be. EVER. Meaning, all of the worst case scenarios that you have cooking up in your mind won’t happen. Sure, some stuff may not go according to plan. But you can handle it. Give yourself more credit. You haven’t let yourself down this far, right? So who says you will in the future? I remember when I quit my job I was terrified I was going to go bankrupt. I was freaking out that I was going to fail. But I kept reminding myself that I am pretty intelligent. I am ambitious. I am driven. I will make this work. I won’t let myself bankrupt. Stop thinking the worse of yourself. It’s unbecoming. Instead, trust your resourcefulness. Your divine power. Your inner brilliance. It will always come through for you.
2) It’s better to take a risk than be comfortable. And guess what logic is going to want you to do? The least risk aversive move. It’s ingrained in our biology. But you know all the cliche statements out there - nothing great happens in your comfort zone. Stop thinking life is about being comfortable, it’s not. It’s about soul growth. And your soul really wants you to follow your desires. Read more about that here. Being uncomfortable is good. Creativity stems from limitations. Every story of greatness comes from adversity and perseverance. Stop letting other people live your dreams because you rather get comfortable. You will be amazed at what happens. Read more about this here.
3) It’s not going to look like you think it will. It’s going to be harder. Easier. Messier. Funner. Point is, no matter how much you try to guess what the experience will be like - you have no idea. And sometimes that’s for the better. When I decided to start a separate company here in LA supporting women create community, I had no idea how much work it was going to require. If I had known, I would have probably had said no. But I am glad I said yes because it’s the most amazing thing I have created. I joke that if we didn’t have chemical in our brains that made us forget how painful birthing a child is, we would be an extinct race. Point is - it’s not going to look like you think it will. So drop the expectations a little. Trust yourself. Re-read #2 if you must.
4) Screw the net. We often hear in the spiritual world this idea that “when you leap, the net will appear” or “the universe has your back and will support you when you live your purpose.” Now, as much as that is TRUE, sometimes it doesn’t come when we think it will. In fact, for the first six months of my move to Cali I kept praying to God asking, “where the fuck is the net?” It was a scary time for me because the money and the opportunities that everyone said would come… didn’t come. I got into debt. I feared I made the wrong decision. AND GUESS WHAT - THIS IS NORMAL. Because right before we get flooded with opportunities and such, we get tested. It's like a Universal double check asking if we're really SURE that this is what we want. Even on a neuro chemical level this is true. Right before our brain let's go of an old thought pattern, that thought pattern puts up its greatest fight to stay attached. #fact
5) Restlessness is your friend. The best indicator that it's time for a leap is restlessness. This deep sense that you're meant for something bigger. Something better. Something more exciting. Trust this feeling. Don't let logic win you down. Because often times when we don't listen to this feeling, it turns into resentment. It's this same restlessness that inspired the best inventors in the world. It's what pulls people to be singers or ambassadors. It's this tiny voice in your mind saying there's got to be something more to this life. There is. And it starts when you listen to the calling. When you say YES to the pulling. Why would you trust the voice within you saying you are worthless and stupid... but NOT the thought that is inviting you to something greater? Look closely at what you're trusting. Odds are, it's not your friend.
Lastly, stop putting so much pressure on yourself and the universe that things have to work out right now. We are so desperate to look for signs when we are in transition that what we are doing is the right thing - but life is more nuanced that that. If I didn’t succeed at first it wouldn’t have lead me to where I am now.
At the end of the day, readiness is a form of resistance. Because you are never going to know enough to make a logical decision. Never. Someone won a freakin’ nobel prize for that piece of thought. That’s how accurate it is.
If you are feeling a desire to take a radical leap into the unknown, odds are, you are ready.
I’m not saying throw yourself to the lions like I did. It doesn’t have to be one big mega craziness. It can be filled with ease. It can be gentle. But nonetheless, growth is an uncomfortable process. And that is GOOD! Relish in it. That’s what makes life exciting and rewarding.
To your worth,